Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The downward spiral part 8

   Jeremy awoke to his phone ringing. He reached over and hit the silence button. weeks had past since he left the hospital. He spent most days laying on the couch, dozing off. With the help of the narcotics and alcohol, he was able to get through each day. Days that Andrew came over, were the only days he spent sober. Normally, Andrew would call in the morning, and ask him if he was up for visitors. That gave him enough time to get up, take a shower, and hide his booze. It felt silly to him that a grown man such as himself felt the need to hide anything, but after Andrew and Dawn had to rescue his drunk, injured ass, he thought it would be best that they didn't know he was still drinking.

   Sammy was still on his mind. He couldn't seem to remove the image of her lifeless body, cold and wet from his thoughts. 6 months had passed since Sammy's death, but time did nothing to fade the memory. He spent every minute, of every day missing his best friend. Without her, Jeremy felt like a waste of life. Like dog-shit on the soles of someone's boot. Reaching for his pain pills, out of instinct, Jeremy opened the cap. This was his last one. With a deep sigh, Jeremy tossed the pill into his mouth, and swallowed. This would be the last time medication would numb him.

    With a sigh, Jeremy removed himself from his bed. His goal for the day was simple, eat breakfast, then drink. Hell, that seemed to be his goal everyday. He knew at some point, he would have to face reality. He knew his time home on injury was numbered. But not today. Today he could pretend that what his life had become was okay. That this is what he needed to do to heal. He could pretend that he didn't need to return to a job that reminded him of how much life could really suck. He used to love his job. He lived and breathed the adrenaline. Not anymore. No, he felt as though he never would love it again.

   A knock sounded on his door. "Shit." he mumbled to himself. With a quick glance in the mirror, Jeremy checked to see if he looked any better than he felt. Nope, he looked like hell. The knocked sounded again, louder this time. "Coming!" Jeremy yelled, rolling his eyes at the impatience of his unwanted visitor. With a sigh, Jeremy opened the door. He thought it would be Andrew, he was gearing up to yell at him for just dropping in, when he saw the small figure standing in his doorway.

   It was Alexis.

   "You promised that you'd visit us." Sadness, showing in her eyes.

   "I'm sorry kiddo, I haven't felt up to it. I swear I had every intention on stopping in." Jeremy replied. His heart sinking when she tilted her head up to look at him. Her face looked haunted. Eyes red from crying. Dang, he felt like a jerk. He forgot that he wasn't the only one missing Sammy.

   "We've really needed you. I've Really needed you." Alexis sighed, wiping a tear from cheek. "I stopped at the station to see you. Dawn told me you had injured yourself. Are you okay?"

   Jeremy paused for a moment. He felt guilty. He didn't want Alexis, or the rest of Sammy's family worrying about him. "I'm fine. Had a weak moment. I'm getting better everyday." He lied. Forcing a smile, that didn't quite reach his eyes.

   Alexis studied his face for a moment, as if she was trying to see through him. With a shrug, apparently satisfied with what she saw, she hurried forward, and hugged Jeremy.

   Jeremy tensed up. Not knowing what to do. For a long moment, he merely just stood there. Then, he lightly wrapped his arms around Alexis. Alexis breathed deep, as if she was afraid that Jeremy would reject her. But now, she wasn't sure why she felt that way. She had known Jeremy for years, and he never passed up a hug. Something inside her told her, the Jeremy standing before her, was not the same Jeremy she knew 6 months ago. That was a damn shame.

   Alexis pulled away from Jeremy. With a light smile. she looked him in the eyes. "Listen, my birthday is next week. I'm turning 20, and we are having a get together. I wanted to invite you. Please consider coming. I'd really like to see you there." Now, blushing for a reason unknown to herself, she pushed the party invitation into his chest. "I hope to see you there." She said as she hurriedly walked back to her car.

   "What was that all about?" Jeremy wondered out loud. With a shake of his head, he turned to go back into his house. He stared at the invitation in hand. Should he go? Hell, he probably should, but he knew he wouldn't. He didn't feel ready to face reality. He wanted to be alone. Alone, and drinking.

   Jeremy strode toward the kitchen, looking at his collection of booze. Suddenly, whiskey just didn't seem like enough. Knowing his pill supply was depleted, he settled for the next best thing, his old buddy "Jack."

Written by: RU- Responders Unite
© Responders Unite- Do not remove author's name from material.

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